i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
