Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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