1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
