There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
