but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Randomize
