It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
