I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize