It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
