brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize