don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize