so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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