my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
