i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize