Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
