Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
