In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
