Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
