the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
