How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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