shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
