He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
