it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
