okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
