oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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