AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize