I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I don't think brook has ever known best
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
No more Irish car bombs ever.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
