He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
