I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
