help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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