Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
