saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
