Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
