drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize