I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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