Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
