never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
