He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
