The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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