Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
