Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
