Having a random hookup so left but love u
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
