You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
