Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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