I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
