chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
The ass gains better be worth it
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