Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
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