I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Your penis caused this!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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