i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
