like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
