I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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