Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
