What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Semen is not good for contacts.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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