who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize