Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
