I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
