Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
