I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
i out mim tonsoeep
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