we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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