i need an iv and a liver transplant
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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