so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
