I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
