In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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