I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
