They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We had to coat check the pizza.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
