I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
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