I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
