I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
