I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So vagazzling was a success
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize