Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
