Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
