Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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