I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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