are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
