I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize