Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
