i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
