Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
