You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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