fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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