I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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