I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Say something about gay babies.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
