So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So much rum. So many feels.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
