you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I wish i was in the wii world.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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